Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 2: ‘Boy, they’re bad’

Now that some of the family drama is out of the way, for now, let’s cut to a baseball game. We see a binocular shot with the circles and black screen around the view of the field. True to the radio broadcast from earlier, the Blue Jays are batting against the Angels. We hear a radio this time, too, letting fans know the Angels are down by 7 runs in the 8th inning. So, another banner game for the Halos.

Roger and J.P. are viewing the game on some high tree limbs outside the stadium. Roger has the binoculars and J.P. has the radio. The avid little baseball fans want to see a strikeout. A righthanded pitcher with a mustache named Gates is the hurler for the California Angels. Yes, let’s take a moment here and remember that the team was known as the California Angels in the 90s, rather than the Anaheim Angels or the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

A pitch is driven into left-center as the two fielders run to attempt the catch. In center, Ben Williams (McConaughey) calls for the ball while Norton just kind of looks over at him like an idiot while he continues to also run toward the ball. Did I paint a good enough picture here? The fielders collide and definitely do not catch the ball.

“And Williams and Norton collide, and the catch is blown.”

Meeting the voice of the Angels and the fiery manager
Here, we see the first shot of the team’s play-by-play announcer in the radio booth, Ranch Wilder played by Jay O. Sanders. Wilder speaks into one of those old-fashioned microphones. He’s also not wearing headphones here, something I’ve seen all radio broadcasters do before. So, there’s a point off for realism.

For good measure in the outfield, Norton and Williams bump heads (with a loud sound effect) as they scramble around the field on their hands and knees looking for the baseball. We don’t see the result of the play, or where the batter ends up, but I’m not sure how this isn’t an inside-the-park home run, unless the batter is hobbling on one leg or something.

Cut back Roger, who utters a “boy, they’re bad” from his perch in the tree. Then, the camera goes right to a perfect shot of a leg violently kicking over a Gatorade cooler full of ice and orange sports drink, spilling it all over the dugout steps and floor.

The leg came from Angels manager George Knox, played by Danny Glover. His introduction into the movie shows his name on the back of his jersey with the audio of Wilder mentioning the manager’s temper. Knox puts up his right hand to signal the bullpen move, with an angry, but stoic, face. He’s going to take Gates out.

Not your average pitching change
Now, this is the 8th inning down 7 runs. I sure hope Gates is from the bullpen. Because if your starter is still pitching that late into the game down by 7, that’s a major problem. Still, Gates looks pissed he’s getting the hook as Knox holds out his hand and demands the baseball.

“It ain’t my fault, you need a new outfield!” Gates says, as we see Norton and Williams up walking around because apparently there’s no athletic trainer or concussion protocol. Knox reiterates that Gates is out of the game, a little more forcefully, and then Gates loses it.

“You want the ball? Go get it! You want my glove? Go get it!” As he throws the ball and glove like a child.

Cue the chaos. Knox grabs Gates by the shoulders and the two begin to fight it out. The middle infielders rush in. The catcher comes out to the mound, too, but he looks like he doesn’t know what to do as his manager and pitcher are rolling around on the ground in a tussle.

“You’re washed up, you’ll never pitch again!” Knox says.

The benches clear, but before Toronto gets too far, their (stereotypical old-dude) manager with a giant wad of tobacco in his cheeks calls them off by telling them it’s not their fight. Ranch says Knox has created total chaos and rises from his seat holding his mic calling the scene outrageous with Knox “fighting off his own players.” Gates gets pulled from the scrum and fires back: “You can’t manage a team, man!”

Ejection from the game, and from the tree
Here’s kind of a confusing part: The umpire then emphatically throws Knox out of the game. Roger, a kid I thought was a diehard fan, is mad and wants the ump to leave him in. Wait. Is he serious? You expect a manager to not get tossed after he wrestled his own pitcher to the ground in the middle of a game? Please. Then J.P. offers a lame “don’t throw him out!” The jury’s still out on how much he knows about baseball.

Their voices must have been loud enough to attract the attention of a security guard, who just so happened to be on the upper-deck grandstand stairs in view of the boys. He turns around and asks the kids what they’re doing in the tree. Um, I think it’s obvious, buddy. They didn’t want/have the money to pay for a ticket and are trying to watch a baseball game.

“You better have tickets for that tree!”

Seriously, the guard said that. It’s not even that funny. Obviously, if they had tickets, they’d be in the stadium. The boys quickly head down the tree trunk, and I’m always left wondering: How many games did they watch like this? They seemed genuinely surprised they got caught.

Ranch Wilder and his true colors
Meanwhile, Knox is trying to get his money's worth on his ejection, arguing in the umpire’s face, complete with his ball cap on backward. Knox gets all indignant and says that the ump can’t kick him out of the game, because he’s leaving. Sure, alright. This exchange is only funny because it’s totally a Disney/rated-G proof. You know this is a profanity-laced tirade if this is a real game.

In the booth, Ranch flips his mic switch to the off position and puffs on a cigarette. He’s sitting next to who, I assume, is the color-radio guy; for some reason, when I watched as a kid this guy always reminded me of a Jim Carrey look alike. He asks Ranch if Ranch could do any better with the Angels, to which Wilder scoffs and says “blindfolded.” Color-guy promptly recalls Wilder’s troubles as a manager.

OK, so we’ve learned Wilder was at one time a baseball manager. File it away.

We’re seeing for the first time what a douchebag Ranch can be, as he tells color-guy to “zip it, pal,” and puts out his cigarette in color-guy’s Angels coffee mug. Ranch gets back on the air – without headphones on, it seems he’s psychic and knew the commercial was over – and comments about how long Hank Murphy, the Angels owner, will put up with these shenanigans. It would have been nice if he actually used that word, shenanigans.

Cut to an old fella in a cowboy hat listening to the broadcast; we’ll assume that’s Murphy. Ranch wraps up his coverage with this smug gem: “With George Knox calling the shots, you never know what will happen.” That definitely doesn’t seem like a homer-type announcer who works for the team. 

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 1: 'I'd say when the Angels win the pennant'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 1: ‘I’d say when the Angels win the pennant’

Back by popular demand, I’ve got another sports-movie commentary for everyone. OK, so maybe it’s back because I wanted to write about another movie. Though I do appreciate the nice feedback I received this summer when I wrote about A League of Their Own and The Rookie.

This time around, I’m dipping into the Disney well again for a baseball movie: Angels in the Outfield. Straight out of the summer of 1994 starring Danny Glover, Tony Danza and the ever-so-dreamy tween Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Here’s the premise as told by the film’s IMDB page: When a boy prays for a chance to have a family if the California Angels win the pennant, angels are assigned to make that possible.

Buckle up. If you read any parts of my first two movie commentaries, you know I dig deep into the details and my own personal takes.

Riding around the stadium
We start out in the clouds surrounded by blue sky and the movie’s musical theme in the background. The standard “Walt Disney Pictures Presents” comes across with the Angels in the Outfield graphic, followed by names in the opening credits flash across the sky, mixed in with baseballs flying around in slow motion.

The clouds start to break away, revealing the baseball stadium down below as the baseball from the sky sails toward the earth and presumably to the pitcher’s mound in Anaheim, Calif.

The young J.P. and Roger (Gordon-Levitt) are riding their bikes – J.P. has the big, arching handlebars – around on the street, and it’s J.P. who utters the first line of the movie: “Roger, do you believe in Heaven?” What comes next is the writers wasting absolutely zero time giving viewers background on these two kiddos. So if you arrived late to the theater (if you saw this in a movie theater, which I did not, having caught it on the Disney Channel and via the VHS player at home), you might have missed this early plot point.

Roger responds to J.P.’s question by saying that he guesses he believes in Heaven, because that’s where people say his mom went. Point 1: Roger’s mother is deceased.

The answer gets J.P. excited for a second, saying that maybe his dad and Roger’s mom are friends “up there,” in Heaven. Point 2: J.P.’s dad is also deceased.

Then the two make it a point to explicitly say that they’re best friends, in case we’re wondering.

The boys continue to ride their bikes with shots of the Major League stadium in the background as some more opening credits roll. Here are a couple of things that I only realized watching the movie later. Matthew McConaughey and Adrien Brody are in this movie. Big Hollywood stars, kind of before they were big Hollywood stars. We’ll meet them later.

Do they have to change their name to “Foster?”
J.P. isn’t done hitting viewers with the plot points here. Not only are these boys without at least one parent, but J.P. randomly asks Roger why Maggie’s house is called a “foster home.” Roger has no idea and makes something up, then adds that they won’t be there a long time because “something good’s going to happen.” Point 3: They’re foster kids who presumably live together.  

J.P. is quite the optimist and agrees about something good before uttering what will become his catchphrase in the movie: “It could happen.”

The end of the credits run as a few random kids run past what we come to know as Maggie’s house as Maggie walks out the front door toward the clothesline in the yard. A passerby wearing jeans, shades and a sleeveless white tee carrying a boom box (very 90s) strolls by on the sidewalk. 

Listen carefully, and you’ll hear he’s listening to a baseball game, as the announcer says that the Angels are trying to break a 14-game losing streak during their game against the Toronto Blue Jays this afternoon at Anaheim Stadium.

Roger and J.P. return from their bike ride, though apparently, they weren’t back by 5 p.m. when they said. Maggie flashes her watch in front of their faces for evidence, but J.P. says he can’t tell time yet. He politely asks if they’re back by 5. Exasperated Maggie, who must be their foster mother, says “close.”

Make room for daddy
Maggie tells Rogers to go inside and see his visitor. There must only be one person he’d expect because he drops his bike in the yard like a hot potato and scampers up the porch steps inside. The camera pans to a motorcycle parked right in front of the house as Roger calls out “Dad?”

Behind a puffy cloud of cigarette smoke, we’re introduced to Roger’s dad. He’s seated in the living room portraying the classic, bad-boy, biker stereotype wearing a black leather jacket, white t-shirt and slick, black hair with cool-guy sideburns. This actor is Dermot Mulroney. He’s another one I didn’t recognize until many years later. He’s gone on to do a bunch of rom-com work, and he had a guest-star arc as Rachel’s co-worker/crush in season 9 of “Friends.”

Anyway. Daddy-o asks Roger if he’s surprised to see him, then remarks on how “scrawny” Roger looks while reaching out and poking at his abdomen. Roger assures him that he’s getting fed. Dad demands to know where Roger was and seems miffed that his son wasn’t a mind reader about his visit and kept him waiting. Roger tells him he was “riding around the stadium.”

Then, for some reason, dad feels the need to dump all over the Angels being Roger’s “team,” a fact that Roger tries to contain and hide his enthusiasm for his fandom.

“They’re in last place,” Pops says.

Roger agrees, looking dejected. Way to bond with the boy, dad. He then goes on to say a family “that likes losers” runs in the blood, as we get a close-up shot of him wiping cigarette ashes on his blue jeans. At this, Roger turns away disgusted, though also looking like he’s seen this maneuver dozens of times. To be honest, the line his dad says here never really stuck in my mind. And I’ve seen this movie enough times that I have a lot of lines committed to memory. But that’s how powerful the cigarette ashes and the reaction are.

A sad, brief reunion
As pops eases his way out of the chair amid another blow of smoke, he tells Roger he’s going up north (wherever that is, because I’m only familiar with “up north” as it relates to lake country in Minnesota). Here’s where daddy really starts to break his little boy’s heart. Apparently, he promised that when he returned, it would be to get Roger, which is evidently why the boy ran into the house to see him like it was Christmas morning. But here, Roger simply stares up at his dad with these oh-so-sad puppy-dog eyes.

Dad tells Roger that things aren’t working out, meaning to take care of his son, I guess. He says he’s signed a “release thing,” which I’m sure is the legal term for it, adding that they have to go to court to make it final.

“I did what I could with you. Maybe if your mom was alive it’d be different. … You understand what I’m saying, don’t ya?”

Actually, no. For as blunt as the dialogue was at the start of the movie, pops isn’t exactly doing a great job of spelling out this legal stuff for junior. Is he saying he doesn’t want to be Roger’s dad anymore, ever? Or does he need a break or something? It’s a little confusing, except that the main thing we can gather is that dad is still going to leave Roger behind at the foster home. Roger, who also looks confused, manages a “yeah” in response.

Dad seems satisfied with that answer and is glad to have that awkward exchange out of the way, which is rather cold. He heads out the front door with a fresh cigarette hanging from his lips. At the curb, the motorcycle is predictably his dad’s, though he had a pick-up truck before but tells Roger the bike is better for traveling.

A pie-in-the-sky promise from dead ol’ dad
Then Roger, still crushed from the brief conversation inside, asks when they’re going to be a family again.

“From where I’m sitting,” dad says, as he flicks something (a match?) in the direction of the visible baseball stadium off in the distance. “I’d say when the Angels win the pennant.”

And boom. We have our main plot for this movie, folks. Dad is basically telling this kid they’re never going to be a family again because as we know, the Angels are in last place. But Roger, though a pre-teen, is still a vulnerable child in this instance and definitely doesn’t see this as the final brush-off his dad means it to be. What a douchebag thing for the dad to say, knowing his kid is a big Angels fan.

Pops puts on some cool-guy sunglasses, starts up his hog and tells his “son” to stay out of trouble as he rides away from the curb and down the street, leaving a bewildered Roger what just happened in their very-brief visit. 

The Indy 500 field in 2020: Andretti leads the way

The number 33 came together for the Andretti family this year.

Thirty-three cars in the Indianapolis 500 field, a tradition. Marco Andretti, a third-generation driver, is 33 years old as he competes in his 15th Indy 500. The last time someone named Andretti was on the pole position for the 500? 1987, 33 years ago, when Marco's grandfather, Mario, accomplished the feat. Michael Andretti, now a team owner, will still be the best and most successful IndyCar driver to have never won the pole or the race at the Indy 500. 

It all came together last weekend though when Marco turned in speeds topping 233 mph to beat out IndyCar points leader Scott Dixon for the pole position for the 104th running of the Indy 500 this Sunday. 

In a year where everything seems strange, the Indy 500 will have a first: Running in August instead of May and running without any fans in the stands. I commented the other day, asking for someone to convince me that this isn't May since the baseball season started recently, there are NHL playoffs happening and now the Indy 500. 

But as trying as 2020 has been across the country and the world, something finally broke right for Marco at the storied racetrack that has caused his family so much heartbreak over the years. Unless something changes, Mario will still be the only Andretti family member to win the race, drinking the milk in 1969. Son Michael has led the most laps in the race (431) without having ever won. 

Andretti Curse
It looked like the rookie Marco was going to shatter the Andretti Curse in his very first shot back in 2006. Instead, Sam Hornish Jr., who didn't waste much time jumping to NASCAR afterward, beat out Marco at the line in one of the closest finishes ever. 

Instead of sparking Marco's career, the race seemed to have solidified the Andretti Curse for him. He only has two race wins, back in 2008 and 2011. His grandfather ranks second on the all-time series wins list with 52, while dad Michael has 42 victories.

But it's not like Marco has raced poorly in the Indy 500. In 14 starts, he's finished in the top-5 five times and in the top-10 eight times. Of course, podium finishes aren't really a thing at Indy, where the winner's circle with milk is all that matters. Marco's worst Indy 500 finish was 30th in 2009 when he crashed out on the first lap with Mario Moraes. His second-worst finish was last year, the 50th anniversary of his grandfather's Indy 500 win, recording 26th place.

The start of the race this year, always marked with pomp and circumstance, will feature the three Andretti generations leading the way. Mario will drive the famous two-seater car, known as Honda's Fastest Seat in Sports, before Marco leads the field to green as the polesitter. 

A driver named Andretti has been in the Indy 500 since 1965.

If Marco wins, he'll be the 22nd driver to win the race from the pole position. It would be the first back-to-back pole winners since 2008 and 2009 when Dixon and Helio Castroneves accomplished the feat. It would also be the fifth time in Indy 500 history for back-to-back pole winners. 

Starting-row stats
Pole aside, the odds are in the favor of row 1 as well, which this year is Dixon and Takuma Sato. 44-of-103 winners have come out of row 1 over the years. Nine winners have come from the front row since 2000, including the past two years. Row 2 starters do well also, with 19 winners. The last two were the late Dan Wheldon in 2011 and Takuma Sato in 2017. This year, row 2 is Rinus VeeKay, Ryan Hunter-Reay and James Hinchcliffe. 

Here are the numbers from the rest of the grid, winners and where they've started: 

Row 3: 8 winners (last in 1999)
Row 4: 7 winners (last in 2016)
Row 5: 9 winners (last in 2015)
Row 6: 4 winners (last in 2012)
Row 7: 6 winners (last in 2014) 

I started keeping track of some starting grid/finishing position stats a couple of years ago. One still rings true: Only six Indy 500 winners out of 103 races have come from starting rows 8-10. It's been 46 years since it last happened, with Johnny Rutherford winning the race after starting in the 25th spot coming out of the ninth row. 

No winner has ever gone from worst-to-first starting in the 11th and last row. That's not good news for Sage Karam, JR Hildebrand and Ben Hanley this year, making up positions 31, 32 and 33. 

Past champs, vets, rookies
This year's starting grid includes eight past Indy 500 champions: Castroneves, Alexander Rossi, Sato, Will Power, Simon Pagenaud, Tony Kanaan, Hunter-Reay and Dixon. 

The IndyCar Series has a lot of veteran drivers and a lot of younger drivers this year. The Indy 500 includes five rookies this year, including VeeKay (19 years old), Pato O'Ward (21), Dalton Kellett (27), Alex Palou (23) and Oliver Askew (23). It wasn't long ago when a rookie won the big race, with Rossi winning in 2016 in the 100th running.

Troy Ruttman is the youngest winner of the Indy 500, winning in 1952 at 22 years and 360 days old. 

Points leader Dixon is looking for his second Indy 500 win. He's a five-time series champion and ranks third all-time in IndyCar victories with nearly 50 of them but just one at the Brickyard oval. He turned 40 years old in July and doesn't show any signs of slowing down, winning the first three races of this shortened/delayed 2020 season. He nearly had pole before Marco beat him out last weekend. The "Ice Man" is known for his consistency on track and will be one to watch. 

Power is 39 years old, Sato is 43, Hunter-Reay will turn 40 in December, Ed Carpenter is 39 and Kanaan is 45. Meanwhile, in addition to some of the young rookies, Colton Herta is 20 and Santino Ferrucci is 22.

No women this year, plus other history
This race will also be the first Indy 500 without a female driver since 1999. For a while, the grid had featured multiple women, like Katherine Legge, Ana Beatriz, Pippa Mann, Danica Patrick and Simona de Silvestro. Mann was in the field last year after being bumped out in 2018, the year of Danica Patrick's final run at Indy. Lyn St. James ran from 1992-97 and 2000, the first year Sarah Fisher raced. Prior to 1992, Janet Guthrie was the first woman to race at Indy from 1997-79. 

As has been the case since 2010, Castroneves will try to join the elite four-time winner club, joining A.J. Foyt, Al Unser and Rick Mears. The 45-year-old will have his work cut out for him in the Pennzoil-yellow machine though; he starts on the inside of row 10 in 28th position. The last time a winner came out of row 10? Louis Meyer in 1936. Ray Harroun also started in row 10 when he won the very first race in 1911; both started in 28th position, the lowest starting spot for a winner.

Pagenaud will have to claw from that 25th position if he wants to be the first back-to-back winner since Castroneves in 2001 and 2002. Back-to-back winners have only been done five times in Indy 500 history: Wilbur Shaw (1939-40), Mauri Rose (1947-48), Bill Vukovich (1953-54), Al Unser (1970-71) and Castroneves (2001-02).

The year is a bit of a swan song for Kanaan, a veteran driver focused on running ovals this year. After some bad luck at Indy, he finally won the race in 2013. He's led the most races of any driver in race history, with 14, including 7 consecutive races from 2002-08.

The pole from 2009.

Starting grid for the 104th running of the Indianapolis 500:

Row 1:

Marco Andretti
Scott Dixon
Takuma Sato 

Row 2: 

Rinus VeeKay
Ryan Hunter-Reay
James Hinchcliffe

Row 3:

Alex Palou
Graham Rahal
Alexander Rossi

Row 4: 

Colton Herta
Marcus Ericsson
Spencer Pigot

Row 5:

Josef Newgarden
Felix Rosenqvist
Pato O'Ward

Row 6:

Ed Carpenter
Zach Veach
Conor Daly

Row 7:

Santino Ferrucci
Jack Harvey
Oliver Askew

Row 8:

Will Power
Tony Kanaan
Dalton Kellett

Row 9:

Simon Pagenaud
Fernando Alonso
James Davison

Row 10:

Helio Castroneves
Charlie Kimball
Max Chilton

Row 11:

Sage Karam
JR Hildebrand
Ben Hanley