Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 6: ‘There were *angels* in the outfield!’

Scoreboard update: It’s the bottom of the 9th, still scoreless with 1 hit for the Angels. Catcher Messmer is up to bat, hitless in his last 26 appearances. I guess the Angels bench options are pretty worthless, too, then.

Messmer digs into the lefthanded batter’s box. Another angel appears and grabs the bat with him. He swings, and the bat absolutely shatters. You do not see that in a regular baseball game. Some happy music plays as the baseball soars very high in the air and the camera is right on top of it, showing that one side of the ball is completely split open.

It’s quite obviously a walk-off homer, ending the Angels losing streak. The teammates mob Messmer, while a bewildered Knox stands in the dugout clapping his hands like an idiot.

Roger and J.P. cheer for their team as Roger tries once more to see if his friend saw that “there were angels in the outfield… and in the infield!” “Yeah, nine of ‘em,” J.P. responds. I’ll admit it took me a while to get that subtle punchline when I was a kid.

Geez, what’s going on around here?
For some reason, there’s a postgame raffle, and the winner gets to pose for a pic with Knox. Pine-Sol lady exits at that, shaking her head and muttering “That’s a prize, mm, mm.” She exits stage left. With a winning ticket of 477380, J.P. is a winner but gives his ticket to Roger because the lad doesn’t like strangers.

They’re escorted onto the field by some old ballpark employee and happen upon Tony Danza – who we’re introduced to as Mel Clark – signing autographs for some fans. There are a lot of excited fans at this game for a team that’s in the dumpster, but alright.

Seeing Clark, Roger turns into a sports encyclopedia by saying Clark pitched three shutouts for Cincinnati in 1986, impressing the ballpark employee. I think it’s the type of fact women are supposed to know to prove that they can like sports, or something.

The Roger/Knox meet-cute
Not surprisingly, the angsty Knox has no interest in these photographs with fans, telling communications-man David to hand out “publicity stills.” Knox also says he hates kids. Because of course, he does. David sets him up on the mound for the photo opp before whistling back toward home plate and yelling “first kid!” It doesn’t seem like he’s a kid-person either.

Knox looks like he’s in line for a root canal, posing with his hands on his hips and a scowl. David places one hand on Roger’s head, then shoulder to make it look a little less creepy. The photographer with a very old-school camera comments that it looks like a prison photo and requests that his subjects smile since the team did have a walk-off win and all.

“It was a mistake. This team can’t win,” Knox replies. I really don’t get why he’s so annoyed here. Shouldn’t he be happy his team had a 1-0 walk-off win? Yeah, they still suck overall, but walk-offs are always fun, right?

Roger takes this opportunity to inform the manager about why his team won: The Angels. Knox is definitely creeped out now.

“Great, a psycho kid! David, you’d think they’d screen these people!”

Roger, who couldn’t convince J.P. of the angels' presence, doubles down with Knox, telling him to ask his players about it so they can also confirm “something’s going on.”

The players are confused, too
Back at home that night, Maggie is working away on her sewing machine. Roger comes out past his bedtime wearing a salmon-colored tee with a big hole in the front, perfect for sleeping in. He asks her if she believes in angels and if she thinks they’re real. Her reply is that a lot of amazing things in life can’t be explained. Her roundabout answer ends with a “yes,” which seems to please Roger.

In the clubhouse, with Matthew McConaughey wearing street clothes, he’s looking at the game film of his catch when skip asks him how it felt. The outfielder said he felt weightless like somebody had him by the arms and wonders how he made the catch. That gets the wheels turning for Knox a little bit.

Then the sound effect of Messmer’s home run on film, and the crack of the bat, are matched with Messmer dumping a handful of candies on his junk-food-filled plate. He takes a big bite of a powdered donut while his mouthful explains that it felt like someone was swinging with him, he felt some added power.

“It must have been those chili dogs I ate before the game. You know, that third one tasted kind of funny,” Messmer tells Knox.

Let’s all take a moment and either laugh or roll our eyes at the fat-guy joke.

Manager makes a home visit
Knox shows up at Maggie’s door looking for Roger a few days after their exchange. Because it’s totally normal for the manager of an MLB team to show up at a kid’s house with the photograph he won, Knox would like to see Roger.

While Knox waits in the living room, a bit impatiently, for Roger, he starts up the small talk by trying to figure out if Maggie is Roger’s mom, aunt or grandma. Maggie finally explains her set-up – a short-term foster-care facility she runs and that Roger is a ward of the state.

Knox tries to figure out if Roger is just a kid with a crazy story, but Maggie informs him that Roger is “very grounded.” She also provides more context for Roger’s situation, that he was taken away from his parents by the court system.

The boys return from their bike ride, and Roger is also surprised to see the big-league manager standing in front of him with his photograph. He’s unimpressed when he views the photo, and J.P. echoes the photographer by calling it a “prison photo.”

Knox is really here, of course, to find out more about the angels story from the game. The angels showed up because Roger prayed for them, he says, matter-of-factly. Knox is bouncing between believing Roger and thinking the whole deal is crazy. Still, he invites Roger to his box seat next to the dugout tomorrow. 

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 1: 'I'd say when the Angels win the pennant'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 2: 'Boy, they're bad'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 3: 'You don't even *lose* as a team!'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 4: 'God, if there is a God...'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 5: 'I love it when they come from above like that'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 5: ‘I love it when they come from above like that’

The next day, Knox shows up at Murphy’s office. Knox was fined $5,000 for “jumping Gates.” That seems to be a little light, but maybe I’m not factoring in that this was more than 25 years ago. But seriously, not even a suspension? OK then. Word on the street is that Ranch is looking into civil charges for Knox “popping him.”

At the mention of that, Knox breaks out in a smile and says he’s felt better since he “slugged Wilder.”

“Your pistol’s smoking pal,” Murphy replies, keeping up his southern lingo. He adds more context, saying Knox and Ranch have been at each other’s throats since they were players. Bingo. These middle-aged guys have issues that go way back. Not only that, Knox goes on to say that Ranch spiked his knee and ruined his career. Murphy dismisses it as an accident.

“It wasn’t an accident,” Knox says, in a serious tone. “When you slide into the catcher with your nails up, it’s on purpose.

“I was coming into my best years.”

Murphy ends the exchange by using two more terms from his lingo book: Cowpies (as in, Knox shouldn’t make more to step in) and Manure (as in, Knox has enough on his boots now).

Knox and Tony Danza exchange words
It’s a new day and new game for the Angels. A bus full of kids, with Roger and J.P. inside the stadium this time, arrives as the public address announcer mentions that every Wednesday is Kids Day. The boys run down toward some aluminum bleacher seats in the outfield and comment on how it’s much better than the tree. Look carefully, because they sit right in front of the Pine-Sol lady from the commercials. If you watched TV in the 90s, you know.

They’re at the stadium in time for batting practice, which I find a little strange. Would this many fans already be at the stadium as early as batting practice, for a team this bad? Anyway, Tony Danza is back and confirms he’s in fact a pitcher on the injured list. But he asks “skip”/Knox when he’s getting off that list, since the trainer has cleared him.

We start to get some context on Danza’s character. Knox doesn’t seem to like the guy and informs him he has no interest in sending him to the mound. To hear Knox tell it, the guy blew his arm out and took too many pain pills.

“Pain pills? You were the one stuffing down my throat five years ago in Cincinnati!” Danza sputters.

They don’t dig into it much, but this establishes that whatever the path, Knox managed Danza for those more successful teams. Knox said he traded him back then, even though managers don’t directly make trades, of course. Then Knox got stuck with him again. Danza has a random coughing fit to end the exchange.

Picking up where they left off
The Angels are lined up during the national anthem prior to the game. Many are singing along. Knox is rubbing at his eyes. Adrien Brody thinks he’s crying, but Knox tells him to “drop dead” because he only got sunscreen in his eyes. Knox gives you the warm-and-fuzzies, doesn’t he?

The dimwitted pitcher uses a magic eight ball to ask if he’s going to win. A “no” turns up first before a “maybe,” which seems to really please the dude. One of the middle infielders comes by and sings the anthem “Jose can you see…” Pitch is confused and clarifies that the song is about a Spanish guy. It takes all the fun out of making fun of him for the infielders. Pitch – his name is Bass – slides to the mound to prepare for the game.

In the radio booth, color-guy tries to offer up weird facts about Bass, because I’m sure his pitching isn’t anything special. Who doesn’t floss their catcher’s teeth in the dugout? Gotta love those media guides and game notes. Bass is 2-11 on the season.

Bass sets about 18 times before delivering to the first Toronto hitter. The pitch is lined into center and off the outfield wall with the 400’ mark. Williams slams into the wall and obviously does not catch the baseball. First pitch 1:10 p.m., temperature 75 degrees, error-8 and “a man on base.”

A gum-dropping catch
The scoreboard shows a scoreless game in the top of the sixth inning, which seems promising for a terrible team. Before the Jays bat, we see Ranch with his shiner that Knox gave him, putting on sunglasses… and pouring a generous amount of liquor into his Angels mug. This guy is the model employee.

At the plate, the batter offers some weird arm movements in his batting stance. Bass is still on the mound with his giant wad of bubble gum. The batter “smashes one to deep center,” Ranch says. But Williams is on his horse with his eye, we presume, on the ball. Meanwhile, we see Roger slowly stand in his seat looking up toward the sky, as the Pinesol lady sits behind him looking board.

Roger sees a graphic of two angels coming down from the sky. They lift Williams up into the air and propel him toward the baseball. He’s suspended in the air so long that he makes the catch. The angels drop him like a bad habit, a significant drop, and high-five before disappearing. It’s actually kind of amazing Williams held onto the ball. He lands with his cheek on the baseball, which barely stays in his glove.

Then the reactions start flying: A couple of “holy cow!” reactions from Roger and J.P., which is very 90s. Knox asks how he did that. Ranch shuts hit mic off, removes his shades with one hand and demands to know how he did that. Bass stands looking toward the outfield with his mouth open, causing his gum wad to fall to the dirt. Murphy looks through his binoculars in his suite.

Who were those guys in ‘sparkling pajamas?’
“That sports fans is a play you’re going to see on baseball highlights for years to come,” Ranch says, before going off-air and demanding for his lackeys to “get me something!” I’m not really sure what he wants here. Stats about the last time angels dropped from the sky? That’s not going to be in any media guide.

Roger tries to tell J.P. about the guys who came down from the sky in “sparkling pajamas.” But, as we all know in movieland, since this was Roger’s prayer, it’s not unusual that nobody else saw the sparkling guys.

Roger even tries to ask some middle-aged, beer-loving guy, who for some reason is sitting right next to these young boys when there are plenty of open spaces, about the angels. Gap-toothed guy with a blue tank top and an abundance of chest hair, is unimpressed with the play, calling it a lucky catch. He takes a swig of his yellow, paper beer cup (which I swear I remember seeing from my days going to the Metrodome) and tells Roger to tell his parents about it. There’s an audible belch as the guy gets up to walk away. Classy. I guess he has nothing better to do on a Wednesday afternoon.

Enter, Christopher Lloyd. He appears out of nowhere with curly salt-and-pepper hair to comment on the amazing play. “I love it when they come from above like that.”

Roger is just glad somebody else sees the sparkling guys but is still surprised to learn they’re actual angels. J.P. looks over and sees Roger talking to no one, confirming that Roger is in fact the only one who can see the angels; Lloyd confirms this in a second, too.

Lloyd makes a comment about one of them and his “training wings” as a rookie. Getting creative with the fictional figures. I like it. Lloyd uses his magic to get an AL hat off an umpire’s head and introduces himself as Al. That doesn’t seem like his real name though.

Roger asked for help, so the angels delivered as part of an “as-needed situation.” Then Beer-guy comes back with a fresh cup of suds, sitting right on top of Al, who morphs away. 

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 1: 'I'd say when the Angels win the pennant'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 2: 'Boy, they're bad'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 3: 'You don't even *lose* as a team!'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 4: 'God, if there is a God...'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 4: ‘God, if there is a God…’

Knox and the team owner Murphy have a little chat in the next scene. For some odd reason, one I really didn’t realize until now, they’re meeting in one of the upper deck seating areas in the stadium. Rather than, I don’t know, one of the offices that I’m sure they both have at the park. Maybe it was a movie thing, because having the stadium as a backdrop is more exciting to look at than an office.

Murphy has a cowboy hat and a southern accent. Expect more of his southern drawl throughout the movie. Knox has cooled down from his clubhouse tirade, but not by much. He says he can’t take it anymore and wants his entire roster traded immediately. Obviously, Murphy says he can’t trade 25 players. I’m also wondering if this guy is both the owner and general manager, because the GM is the one who’s usually responsible for trades.

“I can’t win with these guys,” Knox says, as he starts to raise his voice. “Nobody can. There’s a thing called talent. They don’t have it.”

Murphy tells him that it’s not Cincinnati, so nobody expects him to win with this team. There’s some unpacking here. What’s the deal with Cincinnati? Is that where Knox managed before? And what does that comment about this Angels team mean? Is this a rebuilding year?

If it is, Knox isn’t having it, saying he came to manage a winning baseball team. Murphy, spewing that cowboy stuff, calls him “partner,” and says “you’ll ride through the dark days.” Well. I don’t know about Knox, but that seems pretty reassuring to me.

Postgame show
Next up, Knox has a postgame interview with Ranch Wilder, via TV this time, down on the field. This seems rather odd and out of place. Either way, I guess he’s getting his exercise, first the wrestling match on the mound, tossing over the snack table, jogging up the upper-deck stairs to meet with Murphy and now back down on the field for an interview.

Showing again how Ranch and Knox have some past beef, Ranch starts right in off-camera, poking Knox by saying the commissioner’s fine will be “pretty hefty” for the ejection. Thanks, captain obvious. Of course, he’s going to get fined.

A TV producer of some sort holds up a clipboard with a mirror for Ranch before she quickly ducks away with a 3, 2, 1 motion and barely manages to get out of the live shot. She also didn’t seem to get a signal with any earpiece, so I guess this broadcast team operates under psychic powers.

Knox pulls out some dark shades for the interview, looking stoic and calm for a task I’m sure he’s annoyed with after a bad loss. Ranch annoys sports reporters everywhere when he starts with a non-question in which he might as well have said “tell me about…” but goes with a statement of “tough loss today.”

“Any loss is hard,” says Knox, super calm and… wow, what a hilarious delivery. Very insightful as well.

Ranch and Knox can’t play nice
Ranch dives in with his response to offer the viewers more context into Knox and his history: “But this one really got to you. You leave Cincinnati after 10 years of winning ball clubs, although the really big one always seemed to be just out of reach.”

Got it. Knox had success with the Reds and apparently didn’t win a World Series. Ranch goes on to say that there were high expectations on Knox to turn this Angels club around, but that’s not happening. Again, not exactly a professional moment for Ranch, especially if he works for the team.

Knox can’t take it anymore. It’s OK for him to badmouth his team, but he’s certainly not going to allow Ranch to slander the fellas, telling him the season’s only half over. Knox gets right up in Ranch’s face, taking off his glasses as he does this, one-handed, because this is the movies, after all. Ranch reminds him the Angels are in last place.

“You outta know how one incident can change the course of events,” Knox says. Oh yeah, you can cut the Ranch-Knox tension with a knife.

Ranch responds with some lame stuff about wrong place-wrong time. The dialogue, still on the air, isn’t all that exciting, but they are face-to-face. Professional-producer gal shifts the camera guy to color-guy standing with a microphone and trying to wrap it up. The movie cam pans back to Ranch as he tries to save the interview, but Knox is feeling feisty today, and he slugs Ranch in the face, dropping him to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

Color-guy tries to save the day as Knox walks away. FSNorth postgame shows are nothing like this nonsense.

Cat brains with food coloring
Back at the foster home, Maggie feeds the boys dinner, including a new character, Miguel, who’s a little older in his teenage years than Roger. He makes a comment about how the Angels never win, causing Roger to visibly scoff as he moves his fork around his plate. J.P. is the little optimist and thinks they could win before uttering “it could happen” for the second time.

“Yeah, and you could drop dead after dinner. With food poisoning,” Miguel taunts J.P. as the little boy’s mouth literally drops open in shock.

Maggie waves some mouthwatering Jell-O around in a plastic Tupperware container for dessert. Miguel is clearly only around to be an instigator and says it’s actually cat brains with food coloring, adding that Maggie kills the cats at night and does this all to save money. Roger is in a mood and aggressively tells him to “shut up!” Children’s-movie alert: Maggie will not have those words uttered in her house.

At bedtime, Maggie walks around the bunk-bed-filled room collecting clothes for the laundry as she goes through the verbal checklist with the boys to see if they brushed their teeth, washed their faces, said their prayers, and, for some reason, picked the lint from between their toes.

After she leaves the room, Miguel and Roger mention one item they didn’t do before J.P., cuddling a teddy bear, asks what lint is, causing Miguel to call him a “butthead” and also tell him to shut up. Such harsh words for a children’s movie! They’re tucked in sleeping bags, and Miguel takes a shot at Maggie being “too old to bend over and tuck in sheets.” Roger defends her, saying she has a lot to do.

Miguel fires one last verbal shot at J.P. before the young lad says he’ll pray that Miguel meet a nice family before “it could happen” instance No. 3 of the movie.

Did you say your prayers?
Roger, on the top bunk above J.P., stares out the high window by his bed and gazes at the night sky of stars. The visit from his dad is no doubt still weighing on him from earlier.

Roger offers up a prayer:

“God. If there is a God. If you’re a man, or a woman. If you’ll listen. I’d really, really like a family. My dad says that’ll only happen if the Angels win the pennant. The baseball team, I mean. So, maybe you could help them a little. Amen. … A-woman, too.”

It breaks your heart a little as a star shines brighter in the sky.

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 1: 'I'd say when the Angels win the pennant'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 2: 'Boy, they're bad'

Angels in the Outfield commentary, part 3: 'You don't even *lose* as a team!'