Monday, November 22, 2010

Heather's Turkey of the Year candidates

It's Thanksgiving week. It's a time to sit back, relax, enjoy some time off from work or school, eat a lot of food and watch football.

There's also Black Friday, but apparently it's not the holiday-season kick-off it used to be. (If anyone knows what exactly is the new, earlier start to the season, let me know. I'm having trouble figuring it out.)

For me, I'm looking forward to my own traditions I've started on Thanksgiving. Like watching as many Friends Thanksgiving episodes on DVD as I can.

Of course, reading Patrick Reusse's Turkey of the Year column in the Star Tribune is also a treat. In honor of his masterful concept, I thought I'd try to come up with a few Turkey candidates of my own.

So here they are, in no particular order:

Derek Jeter - shortstop, New York Yankees
This talented Yankee player thinks he's pretty special. He's probably always thought this way, but his recent contract negotiations seem to show that even more.

A winner of five World Series Championships with the Bombers, he will turn 37 next season. After a declining year in 2010, he is holding out for at least a four-year deal. Apparently, the three-year, $45 million contract offered by the Yankees just isn't enough for this greedy veteran.

I think three years is awfully generous for a player in his late thirties, and for someone who has most likely hit his peak. But what do I know.

Jason Kubel - outfielder, Minnesota Twins
I suppose I could be more broad and list the entire Twins lineup for its poor performance in the playoffs. But it's Kubel's .069 career postseason average that led me to single him out.

He has been referred to as one of the most underrated players in baseball. He hits clutch home runs and contributes well offensively. But there is nothing clutch about his horrible postseason numbers.

Sorry Kubes, but you need to bring your bat with you after 162 (or 163) games.

Tim Brewster - former Golden Gophers football head coach, University of Minnesota
This is an easy pick, and I think Reusse might have chosen him already in a previous year (and could easily this year). It's just too good to pass up.

Brewster was fired mid-season this year after his team failed to win more than one game (a game they probably could have lost if the opposing star quarterback would have been playing).

He was just nauseating to listen to during news conferences; his answers were border-line delusional. This makes me loathe the guy even more than how he coached his team to such pathetic, laughable losses.

Joel Maturi - athletic director, University of Minnesota
Here's a guy who should be fired. He doesn't exactly have the best track record as of late. Exhibit A: Hiring coach Brewster and thinking he was the man to turn the football program around. Instead, it's gone in the tank.

To quote Star Tribune columnist Jim Souhan, from his Sunday radio show on 1500ESPN, "I wouldn't buy an apple from this guy [Brewster]."

Then there's the men's hockey team, another sinking ship. Earlier in this decade, the team was a national champion. What happened? Firing coach Don Lucia isn't the answer. And using the excuse "all the good players go to the NHL" isn't flying anymore either. That happens to a lot of other schools too.

The U just named a new president. His first act should be to fire the AD and start building up the sports programs again. And please, if you know what's good for you, don't let Maturi hire the new football coach. Unless you want a repeat of the Brew era.

Todd Richards - head coach, Minnesota Wild
During his first full season with the Wild last year, I was willing to give him a pass for the mediocre team that failed to make the playoffs. Call it a grace period.

But now just shy of two months into the season, I'm expecting more. The Wild have shown mediocrity yet again. Not showing up to play a full 60 minutes of hockey, a lack of five-on-five offense, getting outshot and camping out in its own end have been the major problems plaguing the team game after game.

And what's with all the optional practices? Unless I'm just imagining things, it seems like there are a lot of no-practice, or optional skate days. Maybe that's normal and I'm just ignorant, but I think it's a little odd.

It's the day after a horrible loss, sure, take the day off boys. Bring 'em out on the ice, skate 'em hard and let 'em know mediocrity is not acceptable.

Oh, Richards is also a candidate because of his strong faith in the ability of youngster and under-achiever James Sheppard. Loyal readers of this blog know how I feel about Shep's on-ice performance.

A slew of Viking candidates...
I won't get into all the details for these guys, but here are some other options from the purple pool, again in no particular order:
  • Brett Favre
  • Brad Childress
  • Sidney Rice
  • Ryan Longwell
  • Bernard Berrian
  • Randy Moss

So there you have it. Do you have a top Turkey from my list? Or another candidate you'd like to nominate? Let me know in the comments.

Happy Turkey Day!

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